Raise your glass to the hard working people,
Lets drink to the uncounted heads.
Lets think of the wavering millions,
Who need leaders but get gamblers instead.

Spare a thought for the stay-at-home voter,
His empty eyes gaze at strange beauty shows.
And a parade of the gray suited grafters
A choice of cancer or polio.

-- from Salt of the Earth by the Rolling Stones


Welcome to the Home Page of
Joseph Franke' Kolacinski.

The most commonly asked question at this point is "Huh?" but many of you have thoughtful, intelligent questions like; "Just who is this Joseph Kolacinski person anyway, and why does he have a home page??"

To answer the second part first, there is absolutely no good reason for Joseph to have a Home Page. Like most personal home pages on the net, this is purely an exercise in self indulgence, albeit an entertaining one.

This, "who is Joseph Kolacinski" question, that may take a certain amount of time.

Professionally I teach mathematics to college students. This is largely due to the fact that, of my other career choices; "Starship Captain" and "Super Hero" are, in fact fictious while "U. S. President" and "Rock Star" are just too damn impractical.

I have been involved with the Kiwanis family of Service Clubs since I joined the Lake Worth Key Club back in 1980. As an undergraduate I was a member of the Circle K Clubs at Palm Beach Junior College and Florida Atlantic University. I served as Secretary (1985-1986) and was a Distinguished Governor (1986-1987) of the Florida District of Circle K. In April of 1993 I joined the Kiwanis Club of South Miami (now merged with the Kiwanis Club of Miami) and I am a past Distinguished President of that organization. My other activities in Kiwanis include a two year term as "Circle K District Administrator" and terms as Division 26 Lieutenant Governor and President the Kiwanis Horses and Handicapped, Inc. I was also the Florida District's first Internet Services Chair. You can find a link to the Web Page that I helped to create below. I am currently the Achievement and Administration Chair for the Florida District of Kiwanis and Treasurer of the Florida Circle K Alumni Association.

I have a few, firmly held beliefs. The Rolling Stones are the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band and their Album "Exile on Main Street" is Mankind's Greatest Artistic Achievement. The works of Shakespeare, Arthur C. Clarke and Robert Heinlein are good as well. David Letterman is the Greatest Living American.

In times of stress I ask myself, "What would James T. Kirk do in this situation?" I'd also like to believe that extraterrestrials are visiting Earth, frightening farmers, mutilating cattle and leaving nothing but crop circles and mysterious burn marks to mark their presence.

I think that about sums it up for now.

Live Long and Prosper.

Joseph F. Kolacinski



Interesting Organizations and Really Important Stuff

As everyone past infancy should know, THE ALIENS ARE HERE. Check out this comprehensive list of UFO Sources on the internet. The Truth is Out There, or so I'd like to think.



And once you have a good idea about just who's coming to visit, Perhaps it's time to step outside and take a good look at your own back yard. Use this site to Tour the Solar System.


Ever since elementary school, I've had an unhealthy interest in presidential politics. And so, even though I was shocked and disgusted by the aftermath of the 2000 election, I was also fascinated and entertained. Some suggested reading: 36 Days : The Complete Chronicle of the 2000 Presidential Election Crisis by the New York Times, Down and Dirty, The Plot To Steal The Presidency by Jake Tapper, Supreme Injustice by Alan Dershowitz and Jews for Buchanan by John Nichols. Tapper especially does a good job of exposing the excesses perpetrated by both sides, but all of these are worth checking out, if only to maintain your sense of outrage. As always, things were well summed up by David Letterman.

Worried about lyme disease? Beseiged by deer ticks or other blood-sucking vermin (bugs, I mean, as opposed to "Our Distinguished Congress")? Then the guy to talk to is Dick Gadd at SCS Limited.

Interested in film? Vincent P. Hasenpfeffer will be the next great film director of the 1990's. "In the bold tradition of Ed Wood" raves the Miami Post. Almost every other paper in America calls him "Stanley Kubrick on Acid!" The rest call him a cross between Frank Capra and John Woo. Visit his home page and see the trailer for his newest masterpiece Straight from Hell a Missile to the Booty.

Send me some mail.
jfk@math.miami.edu

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